Abby is really a patient, understanding soul. But behind the wheel something happens. I turn into a furious, impatient maniac. Well, not really a maniac. I don’t drive crazy, but I do get unreasonably mad at people going too slowly or too fast or whatever they are doing to annoy me. I yell and curse (all with my windows up so nobody can hear.) “The gas pedal is the one on the right, granny!”  I will yell. Or “You have a turn signal don’t you, Idiot?!” And stuff like that. I researched road rage (well, I got as far as Wikipedia) and I learned that it is an official mental disorder called “intermittent explosive disorder”. So now being a jerk is a disorder. I am surprised I have not yet seen commercials for a drug for this…”Do you suffer from IED?” (See my blog on acronyms.)  Anyway, the truth is that Abby is not a jerk, but is an unfortunate victim of IED, so her screaming at other drivers cannot be helped.

But poor Abby does have really bad eyesight, and driving at night is a challenge. I tend to drive slowly and sometimes brake when I shouldn’t and sometimes use my brights when I shouldn’t. People pass me and it really appears that they may be yelling. Do you remember Pogo, that old comic strip character, who said “We have met the enemy and he is us?” Well, I have found the granny driver that I yell at by day, and she is me, by night! Who would have guessed that the mirror image of the furious road rager is the squinting old granny hunched over the steering wheel, inching along? “Get a move on, Granny, or get off the road!” Ooops, I mean “Pass me if you want to, Road Rager, and let me drive the way I want to.”  Wow, I can give myself whiplash just by driving day into night….